Oh, Dolly!

Dear Cannon, Do you know who Dolly Parton is? Well, just in case you don't here is a picture so that you know what she looks like. Well, this seemingly sweet lady, brought your Mommy to some major tears tonight. You see Mrs. Dolly has been sending you books from her Imagination Library since you were a baby. Every month you receive a book from her. Those books have found their way into our home and many are tucked fondly away in our hearts. Dolly gave you "The Little Engine that Could" as your first book, and as I type this I can hear you chugging away making your little train noises. One of my personal favorites, "Ferdinand", oh how we love him! She gave you "Big Brother, Little Brother" which you think is hilarious and I find to be a little ill-mannered. She gave you the "Look, Look Book" which Mommy read to you a million times a day before you could even talk. You would bring that little black and white book over and climb onto our laps. I remember telling Brett I had no idea why you loved that book so much but you did. The contrast of colors or perhaps it was the crazy way Mommy read it to you, you enjoyed it so. "Corduroy Goes to the Doctor" was read MANY, MANY times in preparation for the doctor's visits that you loved hated so much. I never really helped but I always hoped it would. Amazingly, at five you are no longer a challenge at the doctor's office! Oh my!! How could I forget, "Roar of a Snore"! How we laughed and laughed through that book and talked about Daddy's LOUD snores!! "Read to Tiger" was one that you memorized and we read and read and read! That was another one that elicited giggles, screaming and action too! Well, yesterday we received the book from Mrs. Dolly and I finally had a chance to read it to you tonight. Sometimes, she has a pre-printed letter inside of the book. The book for this month was "Watch Out Kindergarten, Here I Come!". I thought the title sounded fun. Sutton, you and I all piled into your bed as I turned to the first page. It was a letter from Dolly. I started to flip the page and for some reason I flipped back. This is what I read: "Dear Imagination Library Graduate: It seems like only yesterday you were a baby". Then, I realized this was your last book! The Imagination Library sends books until the child turns FIVE! I think back to when I signed you up for this program and that seems like yesterday. How can we already be at the five year old mark. I think having your turn five is going to be the hardest birthday for me. I can remember holding you in my arms and reading that silly "Look Book" and thinking that 5 was so far away and yet it is here and I am not ready. I don't want you to grow up, I want to to stay little. I want to freeze this moment. I want to freeze your sweet kisses and cuddles, all the mispronounced words that are slowly drifting away. I want to freeze your sweet innocent prayers and your tender heart. I want to freeze your huge messes on the bathroom floor when you decide to dive in or use the floor as a slip and slide. I want to freeze the moments when you ask to so belly-backs. I want to freeze the way your sometimes write your A's backwards even though you know the right way, I want to freeze those infectious five year old giggles! I don't want you to grow up. I want to keep you little and safe in my arms. I want to always be able to smell your sweet, smell as we cuddle in your bed, scratch your back, get your big wet, sometimes snotty kisses, read you books, and make you peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches. I love you so much, my sweet, sweet boy. I want to remember this moment, these tears streaming down my face. This sadness, I want to remember each day when you ask to cuddle a little longer even though laundry is waiting, or dinner needs to be cooked. I want to remember this when you ask me to build something and I am to busy. I want to remember this sadness and make the most of the time we have left for a know that all to soon "the clock will strike midnight and you will be gone".