Heaven

we were reading the bible. cannon saw a star, said it looked like a cross and made a cross with his fingers.

me: tell me about the cross.
cannon: jesus dies on the cross.
me: why?
cannon: jesus loves the little children (singing)
me: and so we could go to heaven?
cannon: yes.
with tears welling up in his eyes.
cannon: i don't want to go to heaven.
me: it's ok. you will not go to heaven until you are very old.
cannon: no. i dont want to get old. i want to be little.
me: you will always be my little boy.

crying. hold me mommy.

how sad. i think he realized tonight for the first time that if he goes to heaven, he leaves his family. he was heartbroken.

can you imagine? for this sweet boy nothing could be any better than the life he has right now. he is in heaven. it breaks my heart to know that i cannot always shield him from this world and that soon enough he will feel the real hurts of this world. reminds me of this post from about a year ago.