On Sunday, Feb 24th, we decided to give Cannon his first bottle. We had to get him started on a bottle in preparation for daycare. After I pumped the bottle for Cannon, I began to sob. I was so distraught over giving him the bottle. I even had to call my best friend, Michelle, for support. She assured me that after some time, I would be glad that Cannon was taking a bottle and may even prefer it at times.
During my pregnancy, my biggest fear was that I would not be able to nurse Cannon. It ws so important to me and if you look back over the dreams, you'll see that I was worried! Well, thank God, Cannon latched on shortly after birth and with the exception of some of the late night feedings, he has continued to nurse very well.
Holding this little boy in my arms at 3am and looking down at his innocent little face while he nurses, knowing that I am giving him something no one else can. It isn't just about mommy's milk- its about the closeness of a sweet little boy and his mom, the bonding taking place in that moment, his sweet little hands holding me as I snuggle him. There is no way that a mom can experience this and doubt that there is a God. This perfect moment could only be created by God.
That is why I freaked out. Letting go of this moment, even for one feeding is hard.
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