Put Your Sample in this Cup

Today I received a call from Human Resources. I had been "randomly selected" for a drug screening. In my 3.5 years I have never had ANYONE in my office selected, now that I am drugged on Sudafed and various other narcotics I get selected, Hehe. I went to LabCorp and a very "cheerful" (not really) lady instructed me to "put your stuff down, go in there and pee in this cup, come out and DO NOT flush". I came out and she said, "print, sign and initial on this page and initial your sample". The end. That was all she said to me. No "hello", no "have a nice day", nothing. I think she was bitter from handling pee all day!

This "sample" stuff reminded me of a practical joke that I played on my fellow employees a couple of years ago. I was an assistant manager then and with the help of my manager we planned a "group drug screening". We brought the entire team in and told them that we had all been selected for a screening. We gave them "screening forms" to complete and we sent them into the bathroom with Styrofoam cups and plastic lids. They ALL went in and urinated in COFFEE CUPS and never questioned us.


We made them put plastic coffee lids on their samples and then place the security strip over the top and initial. Then, they all put their samples in an old office box for the "sample police" to come pick up. After everyone finished, we told them the truth. It was hilarious. The guys laughed and laughed and vowed to get us back. Our leasing consultant did not think it was very funny and cursed at us. Alicia and I were laughing so hard we almost put our "sample" in our pants!