Put Your Sample in this Cup

Today I received a call from Human Resources. I had been "randomly selected" for a drug screening. In my 3.5 years I have never had ANYONE in my office selected, now that I am drugged on Sudafed and various other narcotics I get selected, Hehe. I went to LabCorp and a very "cheerful" (not really) lady instructed me to "put your stuff down, go in there and pee in this cup, come out and DO NOT flush". I came out and she said, "print, sign and initial on this page and initial your sample". The end. That was all she said to me. No "hello", no "have a nice day", nothing. I think she was bitter from handling pee all day!

This "sample" stuff reminded me of a practical joke that I played on my fellow employees a couple of years ago. I was an assistant manager then and with the help of my manager we planned a "group drug screening". We brought the entire team in and told them that we had all been selected for a screening. We gave them "screening forms" to complete and we sent them into the bathroom with Styrofoam cups and plastic lids. They ALL went in and urinated in COFFEE CUPS and never questioned us.


We made them put plastic coffee lids on their samples and then place the security strip over the top and initial. Then, they all put their samples in an old office box for the "sample police" to come pick up. After everyone finished, we told them the truth. It was hilarious. The guys laughed and laughed and vowed to get us back. Our leasing consultant did not think it was very funny and cursed at us. Alicia and I were laughing so hard we almost put our "sample" in our pants!

Not an "Uneventful" Pregnancy

I am 17 weeks and 3 days pregnant. It seems to be going by so fast! We get to find out if it is a boy or girl on Septemeber 17th at 9:30 am. I know many of you will be glad to know so you can start shopping! :)

So far, my pregnancy has been very eventful. Which is interesting considering I can remember my friend, Michelle, posting a blog that said her's was "uneventful". The beginning was plagued with all day morning sickness and a sick tummy. Recently, I have had a bladder infection that lasted for a while. I had to have two rounds of antibotics to run it off. Now I have a sinus infection. I have had migraines and headaches, in general. Two weeks ago I woke with a pain in my side that made me think I was DYING! AND then just when I thought the morning sickness was gone...I got to spend 10 minutes in the bathroom at work this morning. I guess Baby Corder did not like the grilled cheese I ate for breakfast. I think I am going to be one of those pregnant women that gets every single side effect/ailment/sickness. Yeah!!

Brett said that he heard if you had a bad pregnancy you would have a good baby. I think he is just trying to make me feel better. I'll take it!! Nine months of sickness for eighteen years with an "angel". Hehe.

Pumping, Teeth Cleaning, Ultrasounds, Sex, Waiting Tables and More, Oh MY!

IF YOU ARE OFFENDED EASILY DO NOT READ THIS POST!!

Apparently one of the interesting things that happens to you when you are pregnant is that you begin to have very vivid dreams (and usually good sleep, too!).

Since early on in my pregnancy, I have had dreams every night! Most of them involve sex (sorry Mom and Dad) but they do! The books say this will happen and trust me it does! I think this is why many women are not as interested in this activity during their pregnancy. They are indulging in their dreams...these dreams are so real you think it really happened! Now I know what it is like to be a teenage boy!

This week I have had three very interesting non-sex related :) dreams. The first dream was about our 20 week ultrasound and we were about to learn the baby's sex. While I was getting the transvaginal ultrasound a dentist comes up and starts cleaning my teeth, then puts in whiting trays! I asked Brett why this was happening and he said, "They are trying to make you beautiful". RUDE! The doctor finally told us the sex of the baby, "It's a Girrrl!", he exclaimed. I immediately started crying. Too funny, I really do want this baby to be a boy but I do not think I will CRY if it is a girl.

In another dream this week I spent the entire dream "pumping" for the baby. Everytime I would clean the pump and put it away, it was immediately time to start again. I felt like a dairy cow. How much milk can one baby drink?

The third dream occured last night. I was at Original Benjamin's waiting tables. I was in the newly remodeled, Bus/Wheel House/Theater Room. This was my first night on the floor in 4 years and we were slammed. Before I could clock in, my first table of senior citizens sits down and orders "Cream with ice" for drinks. Whipping Cream to drink, definitely a pregnancy dream! I told them we did not have cream (surely we did). Then they proceeded to take at least 5 minutes to look over the drink selections which included only soft drinks and tea. They finally decided to have water. WhenI looked up, after taking their order every single table in my section was full...EIGHTEEN TABLES! I did not even know the price of the buffet yet! Finally I woke up, exhausted!

I am sure the dreams are just beginning! I'll keep you updated if I have any more silly ones!! :)